He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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