Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You're like the curious george of whores
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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