I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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