I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
