It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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