I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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