ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
