I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm too high and old for this...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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