Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
This baby is an asshole
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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