hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
