after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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