There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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