It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
