I cockslap morals
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
