im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize