oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Of course I have a pirate flag
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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