I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Sponge bath it is.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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