So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
