we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
