Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
