her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
