It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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