This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
