I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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