he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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