A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just cut my nipple shaving
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
