Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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