I'm gonna have a badass scar
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Randomize
