She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There's even glitter on my cock...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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