Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
