Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I need a burrito and a hug.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize