Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
420 ftw
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
