she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So squirting runs in the family.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
