im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
