So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Even the bartender felt bad for me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize