i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Randomize
