Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
