I think my vagina is haunted
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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