week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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