Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Randomize
