I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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