Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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