I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just made my gag reflex go away.
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
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It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
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