She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize