I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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