I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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