her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The air was thick with penises
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
