she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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