My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
