i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize