Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
