That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
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She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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