This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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