God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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