I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
