i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
