Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
