I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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